Monday, June 27, 2016

Being Missed

Hi all, this is Kristen, better known as Hogan's mom.  Our sweetest boy passed away in my arms on June 10, 2016, just 2 days after receiving his official diagnosis of Lymphoma.  Things happened so quickly and have left us feeling quite stunned.  I knew right away, though, that our sweet boy gave us the greatest gift... we didn't have to decide "when" it was his time.  He never showed signs of pain or suffering, and for that we are also grateful.  It wasn't until the morning of 6/10/16 that I just knew he was not at all well.  As soon as I fully understood what was happening, I held his face, nose to nose, and told him "it's OK to go, my bravest boy". And then he was gone...

In the past couple of weeks, I've noticed so many things that I miss about him, and thought I'd jot them down here, where so many people learned to love our most special guy.  These are listed in no particular order, and I'm sure I'll add to it as time goes on.  I would love to hear any memories or things that stick out in your mind, as well.

- Waking up to that sweet, big, red head every day.
- The "hurry up and give me brekky/dinder" dance and song.
- How he'd wait outside the shower every single time for me.
- Washing his tootsies in the shower water... of course only after the wetness maker was turned off!
- His empathy, he always knew when someone needed comfort.
- The fact that he accepted and loved everyone and everything.  He knew no enemies.
- His drool spots on the floor by the treat jar.
- How he'd steal his daddy's spot on the couch, and delight in the fact he succeeded!
- Working out together.  Even when he made it look like I farted and it was him.
- His love for his childrens.
- Watching him play hide and seek with his "dads".
- The "chomp chomp" noise made when particularly amped up, hardly able to control his excitement.
- Burping him after meals and drinks.
- The fur tumbleweeds that would occasionally blow across our feet and scare the crap out of us.
- Muddy paw prints, anywhere.
- Learning to steal my ShakeO each morning, in new and clever ways.
- His close-talker status.  He had to be right IN your face to get his points across.
- The ability to curl those long legs and big body into the teeniest ball to sleep in... but only on the couch.
- The need to sleep all sprawled out, stealing the covers and cutting off circulation to our legs on the big bed.
- Playing dress up.
- How he'd press his nose and forehead to mine, in our most quiet moments.
- Reminding him to "please stop humping  your sister's head!"
- His smell.  Even his Frito feet!
- Trying to block his big head from getting into the garbage as I prepped meals.
- How he'd try to come up right into your lap every single time you asked him to sit next to you.
- Being right by my side, always.
- The way he'd try to do whatever I asked, even if it made no sense (like going "over" the tire!).
- Bringing anyone who was under the weather all his favorite toys and then covering us up with his blankie.
- Watching him "on patrow" at the new house.
- Coming to to his sweet face after having some passing out issues.
- Seeing him come around a corner with someone's underwear on his head.
- The way he'd try to smile like his sissy, Cals, but instead looked like he had to poop.
- Hiking in his woods with him.
- The songs he'd sing on the way to "pway 'gility".
- Telling him "I love you, Boo Bearington" 37 times as I left the house.  So he wouldn't forget ;-)
- The little heart-shaped rust spot on his hiney.
- Going to "Starbups" for his pup whip.
- The way his eyes would seem to cross if you looked at him closely.
- How he'd "hide" behind the dining room chairs as we ate... he wasn't allowed to beg.  But we could see his entire back end sticking out.
- His pointy smart bump.
- The ability to help me find humor in every situation.
- Watching him play rock 'em sock'em robots with his sisters.
- The way he represented his breed with such style and class.
- Having a buddy in the bathroom. Every. Single. Time.
- How he'd completely shake down anyone who came in the door, particularly his gramma, for treats.
- The way he'd try his hardest to talk to you.  I was so sure English would come out at some point.
- Nose nibbles... when giving kisses was just not enough!
- His ability to calm my every anxiety, without me really even realizing it.
- The way he touched so many peoples' lives... most of whom he'd never even met.

There will absolutely never be another quite like our Hogan.  We feel blessed and honored to have been his people for 10 years.  Our hearts will never get over this loss, but we will find our new "normal" and will honor him at every opportunity.  As always, our eternal thanks to Karin & Steve Fox for this most amazing baby.

Sleep softly, my most precious Boozy Bear.  Thank you for loving me.

Vondura's Back Home Again, 5.3.06 - 6.10.16
(picture taken 6.9.16, thanks to his Auntie Lolo)